By Adelina Gonzalez, Staff Writer
Ah, young love. So pure, so fragile, so destructive. A first love is often an intense one, described as a feeling of addiction almost as powerful as a drug.
It is because of this, that the loss of a romantic partner may feel like withdrawal, and the shock of experiencing this emotion for the first time is often why the first heartbreak is the worst one.
So when you and your beloved depart, how must you deal with your oh-so-achy-breaky heart?
Multiple sources, from psychologists to your wise grandma, are going to tell you the same thing: You need to create distance between you and your ex. Realistically speaking, in terms of a high school relationship, the chances of you getting any actual space from one another is almost a comical suggestion, so I offer an alternative: Create space when you can. Take a different route to class, avoid places you know your ex will likely be around. And if possible, try to refrain from putting yourself in a situation where you have to interact with one another.
But what about our mutual friends?! I hear you whispering to me while I write this article. Well creepy omniscient voice, I have a solution for you that you aren’t going to like much. Talk to your friends about the situation! I know that’s crazy, but hear me out. Chances are your friends love both of you and don’t want to sever ties with either of you. You’ll figure something out.
So now that the physical issue is out of the way, let’s get down to the emotional aspect. You lost your special someone, someone you have so many memories with, your one true confidant, your best friend for so long. This is going to hurt a lot, but the best thing you can do is put those memories aside and re-introduce yourself to your friends. We all do that thing where we fall in love and want to spend all our free time with our significant other. This can create some distance between you and your friends over time. Luckily, your friends will likely understand. They love you and have probably been through the same thing.
Speaking of friends, what’s a better bonding experience than singing songs around a campfire! Sing “Kumbaya” around a fire full of your ex’s possessions. Now obviously, I’m kidding but only to a degree. Holding on to things your ex gave you, gifts and letters and birthday cards, can be extremely damaging to your healing process. One minute you’re chilling on your bed watching Netflix reruns of Law and Order SVU, just living the good life, and then you look over to your nightstand and see a card your ex gave you for Valentines Day. Now all of a sudden you’re eating a tub of Ben and Jerry’s double chocolate fudge brownie, getting tears all over your new blankets while marathoning The Notebook, Titanic and Love Actually.
It can be sweet and endearing after 30 years to look back at a note your high school sweetheart wrote you, so I can understand the desire to hold on, but at the very least find a box to put those things in and put it away. Storage closet, basement, tool shed, it doesn’t matter. Just make sure you don’t see it for a while.
In all actuality, though these steps may help, the only true healer for a broken heart is time. Your first love will always be the one you remember the most. You may be sad now, but years from now when you sit around and reflect on life, you’ll find that you truly appreciate the happy memories you made. Everything hurts now, that’s just human nature. Just look to the future and know that everything will be alright.