By Emiko Kobayashi, Copy Editor
A cap and gown is required to experience your last few hours of high school here at Indian Trail High School & Academy. So you’ve bought the cap and gown in order to walk on the stage at graduation.
It was recommended that you buy the $200 “champion” pack that consists of a cap, gown, sweatshirt that you won’t wear after you graduate, and some cards to do whatever it is that requires you to send out cards. The cap and gown by themselves cost about $80, which is a lot for a cheap gown and a cap that pops off your head if you’re not careful enough.
What delusional grad merchandise salesman thinks someone would spend $200 for something they’d only use for six months before graduation, then never use ever again except for a half-baked Halloween costume?
Why even bother getting a cap and gown besides the fact that you have to have one to walk the stage?
Well, here’s a list of things you can do to reuse your cap or gown after graduation:
– A hat to keep rain out of your face
– A jacket
– A memoir for Peepee the cat
@peepeeplayhouse on Twitter
– A soup bowl
– A cereal bowl
– Another bowl
– Black curtains for your emo soul to
keep the sun out of your room when
you’re having your weekly break
down.
– A blanket to keep you warm while watching
Netflix (if you can afford it).
– A robe to wear to the spa (if you can afford it).
– Sleeping bag for when your student loans defaults
leave you homeless.
– A fruit bowl
– A portable toilet
– A bird’s nest
– A flag
– Emo clothes for warp
tour
– Or sell it to pay off a
fraction of the debt
you amass from
attempts at getting a
higher education.